Growth is not linear, it is a radicle journey of highs and lows and when we follow the path of the unknown and put our entire trust in our intuition its going to feel uncomfortable, scary and a whole lot of baggage is going to come to the surface. I wish my past self knew where I was today, it would of saved a lot of tears and fears and the endless worry. But I guess we have to go through those moments because when the hard work finally pays off and you look back at it all , you realise you actually wouldn’t change a thing.
I had a conversation with my past self after discovering voice recordings from 2013. 5-6 Years ago I did’nt have my soul sisters, my spiritual support group, I felt totally alone on this journey of finding my true north and the journey ain’t sunshine and rainbows , its soul destroying because your battling your ego with your intuition and I felt like if I followed that inner voice then i loose the friends, I loose the BF, I loose the security and the safety net, looking back I guess thats true, I lost a lot of it but what i gained outweighed the loss. My boy friend at the time made a thoughtless comment while half asleep “I can’t be with someone who has problems”…. Ouch it hurt, but we say silly things half asleep but with that comment I kept my emotions to myself and would hit record on my voice memos and walk the streets or the beach while talking to me, myself and I on everything that was coming up. Oh boy did I have a whole lot to release, process and go through.
Click the image bellow to watch on YouTube….
The process of finding these recordings and listening to my past self and reflecting on my journey has made me feel incredibly grateful for my own inner strength. That despite every breakdown, hospitalisation , someone telling me “no” or “thats a stupid idea” but doing it any way, its made me realise that we are the only one who can truly take us to where we need to go. You can not be fixed because you are not broken , we just become out of alignment and when we trust and follow that intuition we come back home.